October 3, 2005
People are literally dying around me. I now see muddy auras that surround the body; pockets of denser vibrations in physical forms.
Are we all mirrors? Is what I saw reflections of my own decay? Failed transmutations? Schisms?
The woman wearing white from head to toe with her hollow charcoal eyes-
The man walking his dog whose inflated stomach stiffened with every step-
The hiker whose neck slumped forward while climbing a steep incline-
My initial thoughts were, "I was ascending and looking younger and therefore more observant of how other people were aging." In fact, those fantasy projections had me lusting, "They are dying. I'm not."
I wanted to inquire more deeply. The woman's eyes were so unsettling, I was really not resolved by thinking anyway.
I consciously saw myself surrounded by mirrors; reflections of my current body state. Was this wisdom or horror?
I noticed my eyes, stomach and neck were not mine. They were parts of another creation that occupied my body; I'll call them spells that my mother unconsciously transferred to me before I was born. Thoughts whose underlying power left me only to obey, "Don't ask anything of people." Asking meant you were greedy; a sin within my family since there was never enough to go around. And since I had already been labeled, "The outspoken one," from a very early age, I knew that testing such a boundary only met more confusion.
"This must be kinetic knowing," I thought as I dismantled the foreign matter and sent the combusted remains straight to the aurora for neutralization and recasting. The reverter within the mechanism failed upon my first attempt. Instead, it looped back, causing replay after replay for the remainder of the day, until I assigned guardians to make certain they arrived in the earth's center fire with a command to "Leave for good."
I intentionally brought in a new neck, intestines and eyes envisioning these be cast from a light earth dream of this creation; simultaneously retrieving lost information from a time within my lineage that was not distorted.
I have identified a new body of knowledge I'll refer to as my divine male; who has yet to be integrated within my body. I have intended that by bringing him forward I will complete a family cycle of lack and oppression; also intending a new dream for my own biology. One that includes more possibilities than I had previously imagined.
I am beginning to hear a chorus; an echo of screams set free.