July 8, 2005
The sexual energy flow of the human species has become distorted and has been tampered with for so long, that we cannot even remember what its purpose and function is. Its function and purpose is not to have lots of fun or a good time or to create a marital prison for yourself. Nor is its function and purpose, as some metaphysical moralists would have it, to create an infinite number of frustrating experiences so that you may learn from them and grow.
Long ago and even before we as humans in this creation were seeded on Earth, poisonous tones of creation were added to our entire energy system. Free and spontaneous flow still seemed possible, and yet the harmony and balance was gone. Our Red Sirian forefathers experienced this on Earth, but things got a lot worse as more and more meridians in the human energy system began to close down. So distorted did the overall energy flow in connection to the human form become, that in many respects it is a miracle how life or some semblance of it continues to be sustained.
When I began to ascend and release much of the heavy etheric cording surrounding my vessel, the kundahlini began to rise and the sexual energy flow became active. This confused me up to a point where I exclaimed to myself that I really had no idea what sex is or how to handle this energy flow!
Since the Anu interfered in our history on earth, the human sexual energy flow polarized into two extremes. Part of the human population is very much aware of this flow and uses it consciously or subconsciously to seduce, manipulate or communicate with others. Another part has chosen to shut it down almost completely and relate to others without any conscious use or awareness of this flow. I belonged to the latter category.
After my divorce I made intents for sovereignty and completion with all codependent love relationships. These intents drew a partner of Anu inheritance into my life dance while I also began to read and translate the first chapters of the Ascension (or Community) Workbook.
On one occasion in the presence of this Zeus-Merduk-descendant, I got connected to Innana. I was stunned and very much impressed by how she felt. I have never in my life felt so completely cut off from earth as she did, and this was her way of being. The many lovers were not just to regenerate her. She needed their earth energy, she needed to ground through them, and she was more addicted or functioning from addictive machinery than I did with all of my addictions in this lifetime added up - and I experienced and still experience a lot of those. What a sad, sad picture this was. I did not even feel sorry for her or for the many lovers she used- the tragedy of such a state of being was beyond that.
The ancestral patterning hit in my encounter with a supreme-godlike Anu descendant concerned the sexual energy flow. The whole experience was totally confusing. Even when I read in the Self Study notes that when certain patterning comes up to be transmuted it may call ancestral experiences into your life dance, this still seemed an unbelievable situation. Zeus, Merduk, Innana- I got to know their archetypal natures through a short physical plane relationship with one single individual.