Related essays:
DETECTING UNCONSCIOUS HARM
I have written about unconscious harm before (see the links above) and I wanted to share with you an experience that I recently had that really impressed me. About a month ago I was contacted by a woman called Kate who had read quite a number of pages on the site and we started to exchange a few emails and I really enjoyed our correspondence (and still do).
During the Christmas holiday I noticed a few things that started to bother me: first of all I was having a number of thoughts that were unfamiliar to me, as if they were not part of me and secondly my good old belly compass (see Pulmonary Compassion) was showing signs of trouble: my breath didn't reach as far as it normally does.
Well, after detecting that there was something out of the ordinary going on, I 'rebooted' my system and checked my chakra's, information and chi. I also intended the return of my creational tones and all of my subtle bodies. When nothing seemed to change I tried to retrieve any dreams that I may have lost but still nothing happened. I wasn't really suffering from a severe lack of sleep, nor was I under any physical strain, so I wondered what else I could think of. I tried to remove all displaced karma from my system. Under normal conditions the intentions that I mentioned suffice, but not this time.
Then I started to think if there could be some kind of attachment that was leaking my energy. I asked myself if there were any people that could be held responsible and then Kate appeared in my mental field. I imagined to break off any chi-leaking attachment between her and me, but still nothing changed. It was only until I realized that even though I had intended the return of all MY subtle bodies, I didn't think about the possibility that I could be harboring some of HER subtle bodies. Thus I started to intend the removal of her mental body from my system, followed by the removal of her emotional body from my system. It was after this last intention that my belly instantly grew and my breath was back to deep and normal in a flat second! I grinned and was amazed.
I didn't want to bother Kate with this event: like most of these interactions people don't do it consciously, so what would be the use in telling her about it, she might even feel offended and perhaps I was somehow making this all up myself. But a few days later Kate wrote me an email telling me that she was really rather frustrated at my lack of response to a rather personal email. She was about to send me a slightly angry letter but decided to wait a bit. The moments of her disappointment and my emotional subtle body experience coincided and that really impressed me. I then told her about what happened and stressed that she shouldn't feel too responsible for it, since this would happen all around us, unconscious harmful interactions would have become quite normal. I asked her permission to write a turtle on it and she agreed.
NOCTURNAL THOUGHTS
This Turtle Section is my place to write about personal experiences and thoughts related to the ascension phenomenon. It's like an ascension diary in which I collect my 'discoveries' and questions. The last couple of months a new phenomenon caught my attention, namely that I was starting to have trouble sleeping.
Ever since I have dumped my pendulum I have developed another way to communicate with other aspects of myself. I prefer to sit or lie on a couch and close my eyes. I ask a question and then I wait and watch what happens. Often another thought passes by resulting in yet another thought. I really love this process and somehow this activity has turned into a kind of inner creative entertainment (see Inner Disney Land).
It took me a couple of weeks to make the connection between my troubles falling asleep at night and my joy in watching my thoughts pass by. Somehow I had generalized the pleasure of watching my thoughts with my thoughts that I have before I fall asleep. Quite often this made my lie awake until 3 a.m. and this wasn't really healthy for me when the clock would rang at 7 o'clock. It wasn't that I was worrying or fretting about anything I was just in some kind of addicted thinking state.
Now I am trying to kick this thinking habit by intending to only think about a change in state of consciousness, from conscious awareness to sleeping awareness, without allowing any other thought to intervene. This isn't an easy task, but I hope I will manage to fall asleep when in bed, without having to watch a caravan of thoughts passing by for a couple of hours, no matter how interesting it may be!
Gibbon,
January 2007