During my adolescence (80s) I developed the idea that most people around me were just superficially living their lives, without questioning anything, just enjoying the simple pleasures of life: watch TV, drink some drink, go to a party once in a while, read a book, a newspaper, have sex, have three weeks of vacation and the rest of the time it's working time. I was quite angry with the world around me, really.
Then I started to read books by the so called wise people, and I thought they missed out a lot. When I look back now I think that hardly any human being would have been good enough for my standards then. Perhaps the people were trying, but most of them were blind. And when those blind people start writing about theories and the way life should be lived, then nothing but blindness can result. When I look back it sounds quite arrogant indeed.
In The Seven Pitfalls Upon the Spiritual Path (1999) seven kinds of arrogances are described. The danger in thinking that many people are 'superficial' in their way of living is you might start thinking you know it better than the people around you. Some people have actually said that I sometimes seem to act as if I know it better.
I have a record of being rather rebellious in certain groups. Quite often I feel that something isn't right or that some people who hold leading positions in psychological or spiritual groups are 'wrong' on certain issues. It is hard for me to be part of a group when I disagree with the leader. Another thing that bothers me in groups are people who are unclear about what they stand for, but are unwilling to admit this.
Well, anyway, I was led to the esoteric material of people who said they had contact with spirits, beings or entities. Now, that's what I found interesting: here were beings with a higher grade of understanding, not displaying the distortions of many humans. I really liked the books by Judy Laddon in those days.
When I grew out of my adolescence I started to study Psychology and discovered some people who were alright to me. Psychologists like Rogers, Jung and H.S. Sullivan for instance. There even was a professor at the University that I truly admired. So, perhaps it wasn't all that bad after all.
The interest in the 'higher beings' however remained and in the 90s I started to read stuff from the Pleiades and got introduced to the jungle of people with all kinds of masters, lords and god knows what kind of beings. Since I had developed the idea that the words from 'non-humans' were at least more interesting than the words of most humans, I tended to buy into the things that were being told. Stuff about other dimensions, 2012, opening your hearts, the belief in the loving intentions of all beings in the 'Spiritual Hierarchy'.
It was after my discovery of the SSOA in may 2003 that I didn't know whether or not to trust those non-humans, those non physical beings. When I opened up to the possibility that the 'Ascended Masters' and 'Sananda' were aiming at non-ascension (see Sananda and Ascended Masters), I realized that even in the non-physical realms there was a lot of self serving cheating going on, with all kinds of beings having their own secret agendas.
So, now I'm still intrigued by the SSOA-material, but I don't want to blindly trust everything that is being said. When you read the older articles they have been 'wrong' sometimes in the past. Mila even channeled ascended masters in her early days. The first ascension transmission section was completely removed in november 2004 (see Obsolete Articles), since it contained information that had turned obsolete and it was hampering the ascension process of the group.
The SSOA presents the possibility to check the thought forms by looking at your own process, which would lead to objectively noticeable physical changes. If those things turn out to happen, then that is a strong argument for the usefulness of the SSOA-material.
When I look back at my early days, I can only say that I was quite superficial and blind in a certain way as well. I would like to be able to say in 5 years, at a moment when I look back at 2004, that I have grown a bit less dense during the years.
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